Nothing New
There is a verse in the Lucy Dacus song Please Stay that's been in my head a lot lately. It goes: I think you mean what you say When you say you want to die I think you mean what you say When you say you want to stay alive The song was written from the perspective of someone whose friend is struggling with depression. It is not an easy song to listen to, but this verse in particular is... unbearably disarming. This is how I feel most days. I don't want to be here, but I don't want to not be here either. Often, people think being depressed is just being sad most of the time, but that is not the case. At least not in my experience. Mostly, I'm angry at myself, and I'm also tired of trying. It's like... years go by, and I feel I keep running out of time to do something . Every day is the same, food tastes the same, days just pass by me. At the same time, there is this pervasive feeling of... suspense. As if something were about to change, as if something will fina...